Let Mark Grace Win Legends Race
The Mark Grace "Legend" likeness.
By Bob Goodwood
Special for Modern Times Magazine
Aug. 24, 2011 — A little more than a year ago, the Arizona Diamondbacks unveiled with great fanfare the Legends Race — a "fun" activity during home games where big headed likenesses of Randy Johnson, Luis Gonzalez, Matt Williams and Mark Grace race from the right field foul pole to an area behind home plate.
It all started in good fun. It gave fans a bit to care about through the horrors of 2010 and has embraced the players that energized the 2001 World Series Championship Team.
But soon after it started, it became clear that something was seriously wrong with this race event. The Mark Grace character always lost.
Always.
Eventually, it was clear that it was no accident and that a conspiracy was underway.
Fast forward to this year, and it is still going on. Now, every time Grace is in the stadium for a home game (sometimes he has national assignments) he takes a dry-erase board and lambastes the event when his likeness loses, and rightly so.
Is Grace in on it? Who knows. No one at Modern Times Magazine has ever met Mark Grace — although we wouldn’t mind having a couple of beers with him — and we have not heard any inside information on the event.
But what we do know is that it is getting a little old. It is a little like a kid making farting noises — it might be funny the first time, maybe even the tenth, but about 100 times later, it is just annoying.
Maybe team President Derrick Hall likes fart noises? Or maybe it is Daron Sutton?
With the Arizona Diamondbacks slumping lately, it just might be time to stop the silly game and let the Legends Race become a real race with fans in the suits. Karma might just be hammering on the Diamondbacks front office for making an ass out of a Dbacks Legend.
Besides, who really thinks Grace is slower than Randy Johnson?
Bob Goodwood is a freelance writer currently living in Scottsdale, Ariz.
Shooters: Crime, Sports and Sex
Sleep
