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Lynch, Belichick Lead Press

Conference Hall Of Shame

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Marshawn Lynch image by Stephanie Rush, U.S. Army; Bill Belichick image by David Shankbone and used under the terms of a Creative Commons license.
During The Holiday Season, One Might Assume That Even The Most Hardened NFL Press Conference Curmudgeon Might Find A Shred Of Professionalism, But Marshawn Lynch And Bill Belichick Are Not Average Scrooges

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By Wayne Schutsky
Modern Times Magazine

Dec. 25, 2014 — In a strange turn of events, NBC decided to broadcast a dumpster fire in place of Sunday Night Football last weekend. At least that’s what it looked like when the Seattle Seahawks shellacked the Arizona Cardinals en route to a 35-6 victory.

The loss gave Cardinals fans very few things to be happy about. But, that doesn’t mean the loss was entirely worthless.

After all, it gave us the chance to learn once and for all that Ryan Lindley isn’t an NFL quarterback.

The most informative moment, however, was Marshawn Lynch and his post-game press conference. Consequently, Marshawn Lynch is the inaugural inductee into my NFL Post-Game Press Conference Hall of Shame.

Unlike a hall of fame, the Hall of Shame celebrates the players and coaches who are so awful, curmudgeonly and/or downright indifferent during a press conference that we’re all treated to interviews that are nearly as awful as last Sunday’s game.

Lynch might seem like an easy choice, but there are many players to choose from, especially in the NFL. The league imposes so many rules and regulations on players in regards to press conferences that many a disgruntled player has rumbled into a press conference over the years.

Lynch is surely the Clint Eastwood “Get Off My Lawn” of press conference performers. But he’s hardly the only candidate.

For instance, we’ve got the more esoteric performances of Richard Sherman, who most recently voiced a cardboard Doug Baldwin in protest of the league’s sponsorship and press conference policies, much to the chagrin of the NFL and reporters who had their time wasted.
We could also go the overly angry route with someone like Derek Anderson, who infamously told reporters following a blowout Cardinals loss that, “I take this shit serious.”

Now, let’s take a look at Lynch and the our first coach inductee:

Inaugural Inductee - Marshawn Lynch
The reasons Lynch is the top inductee in the 2014 class is quite obvious. The man simply cannot stand talking to the media. He hates it so much that he’s lost thousands of dollars over his career for refusing to do it. But, the NFL-imposed press conferences are where Lynch really shines. His curt and dismissive responses perfectly deliver his intended message to the media, which is “Piss off!”

Best Line: Last weekend when he basically answered every question with “Thank you for asking.” Despite having performed well in the game, Lynch acted as if a close family member had just died.

Coach Category- Bill Belichick
Belichick is basically the Lynch of coaches. However, while Lynch appears motivated by pure hatred for the media, Belichick is motivated by the secrecy that has fueled his success in New England (and his hatred for the media). Belichick is the master of saying something without saying anything. Just ask the slew of NFL reporters who’ve tried to write stories based on Belichick’s vague quotes.

Best Line: “We’re on to Cincinnati.” After answering several question with uncharacteristic vigor earlier this season, Belichick reverted to his old form when asked about New England’s early struggles. He basically used different versions of the answer above for every question after that. The answer was a 100 percent assumed and useless knowledge that gave reporters absolutely nothing to work with.

Honorable mentions: Richard Sherman, Denny Green, Jim Harbaugh, Keyshawn Johnson and Jim Mora.

Wayne Schutsky is a senior contributor to Modern Times Magazine.
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