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Darnell Dockett Is At It Again

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Image of Darnell Dockett by Anthony Quintano and used under a Creative Commons license.
This Time, The Lovable Internet Troll Who Also Happens To Be One Of The Best To Ever Suit Up For The Arizona Cardinals, Concocted That He Was On Jury Duty In An Ironic, Satire-Filled Tweetfest That Ended With A Malia Obama Reference

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By Wayne Schutsky
Modern Times Magazine

Dec. 4, 2014 — Injuries have finally caught up to the Cardinals and the team is in the midst of a meltdown after one of the best starts in franchise history. Leave it to Darnell Dockett to provide a much-needed distraction.

The 6’ 4” defensive tackle won’t be taking the field anytime soon, but he has provided some odd comic relief online. Known for his honest and sometimes questionable Twitter posts, Dockett gave his 201,000 something to talk about when he began live-tweeting jury duty on Tuesday.

Well, sort of.

It turns out the whole thing was an elaborate trolling expedition on Dockett’s part, which is not all that surprising. Anyone who follows him knows the guy loves to troll the Twitterverse almost as much as he likes sacking quarterbacks.

According to azcentral writer Andrew Joseph, Dockett didn’t actually have jury duty in Maricopa County or Miami-Dade County (where he lives in the offseason). It turns out that courtroom photo he posted was just pulled from the Internet.

Despite the fake out, this is still a hilarious move on Dockett’s part. Think about it for a second. He spent hours concocting an alternate reality just to entertain or elicit a reaction from Twitter followers and the Internet at large. And, it worked. He’s basically Aaron Sorkin with more believable dialog.

Here are a few of the best tweets from Dockett’s day at feux jury duty:

When Dockett does get jury duty, don’t tell him he can’t eat.


He ain’t afraid of no cops.




He’s not a fan of the system.


He feels bad for the fake people he made up.


He’s already got some ideas for a post-football career.


Dockett’s Twitter has a downside, too, and this might be the last troll we see from Dockett for quite some time. He posted another user’s creepy photograph of President Barack Obama’s 16-year-old daughter Malia and has received quite the backlash from Twitter and the general media. In the original photo, she is wearing tight jeans the first poster intimates he’d like to take her to prom.

Dockett maintains he didn’t say anything about Malia and just posted the photo because he thought it was funny.

His latest posts show that he’s thinking about deleting the account once and for all.


Wayne Schutsky is a senior contributor to Modern Times Magazine.
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