Darnell Dockett Is At It Again
By Wayne Schutsky
Modern Times Magazine
Dec. 4, 2014 — Injuries have finally caught up to the Cardinals and the team is in the midst of a meltdown after one of the best starts in franchise history. Leave it to Darnell Dockett to provide a much-needed distraction.
The 6’ 4” defensive tackle won’t be taking the field anytime soon, but he has provided some odd comic relief online. Known for his honest and sometimes questionable Twitter posts, Dockett gave his 201,000 something to talk about when he began live-tweeting jury duty on Tuesday.
Well, sort of.
It turns out the whole thing was an elaborate trolling expedition on Dockett’s part, which is not all that surprising. Anyone who follows him knows the guy loves to troll the Twitterverse almost as much as he likes sacking quarterbacks.
According to azcentral writer Andrew Joseph, Dockett didn’t actually have jury duty in Maricopa County or Miami-Dade County (where he lives in the offseason). It turns out that courtroom photo he posted was just pulled from the Internet.
Despite the fake out, this is still a hilarious move on Dockett’s part. Think about it for a second. He spent hours concocting an alternate reality just to entertain or elicit a reaction from Twitter followers and the Internet at large. And, it worked. He’s basically Aaron Sorkin with more believable dialog.
Here are a few of the best tweets from Dockett’s day at feux jury duty:
When Dockett does get jury duty, don’t tell him he can’t eat.
I just told this guy Im hungry and he's like I can't leave.. wtf U mean I can't eat! Ok watch this. Im gonna order pizza off this app! F.U.!— DARNELL DOCKETT (@ddockett) December 2, 2014
He ain’t afraid of no cops.
☕️ and 🍩— DARNELL DOCKETT (@ddockett) December 2, 2014
They bring this big ass police in here like he supposed to scare me while I'm looking like I don't give a shit. I'm like you want
😴😴— DARNELL DOCKETT (@ddockett) December 2, 2014
You don't scare me big guy!! Cut that mean mug off your face! I whip guys ass like you for a living!
He’s not a fan of the system.
Look , I just don't feel the need to judge anyone not my place. The system is corrupt anyway. They feel this guy was guilty of the top. BS!!— DARNELL DOCKETT (@ddockett) December 2, 2014
He feels bad for the fake people he made up.
A lady in here crying, I feel bad for her! Don't know what she did but seems she about to get 474773837 years in jail! p.o.p holdn it down!— DARNELL DOCKETT (@ddockett) December 2, 2014
He’s already got some ideas for a post-football career.
I need to be a lawyer.... This is crazy!— DARNELL DOCKETT (@ddockett) December 2, 2014
Dockett’s Twitter has a downside, too, and this might be the last troll we see from Dockett for quite some time. He posted another user’s creepy photograph of President Barack Obama’s 16-year-old daughter Malia and has received quite the backlash from Twitter and the general media. In the original photo, she is wearing tight jeans the first poster intimates he’d like to take her to prom.
Dockett maintains he didn’t say anything about Malia and just posted the photo because he thought it was funny.
His latest posts show that he’s thinking about deleting the account once and for all.
🙏 "In memory of"— DARNELL DOCKETT (@ddockett) December 4, 2014
Wayne Schutsky is a senior contributor to Modern Times Magazine.
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