J’lem Lights Ignite Religious Fervor
Jews, Muslims, Christians Disagree About What The Sightings Mean, But All Think They Are No. 1
This Islamic shrine was the sight of a UFO Jan. 28, 2011. Image by Nsaum75.
By Strom Werner
Lighter Side Bureau
Feb. 7, 2011 — In the early morning hours of Jan. 28, an unidentified flying object was spotted in the sky, hovered over a historic landmark, blinked a very bright light, then rocketed up into the sky.
Sure, this happens all of the time in Mississippi, but this one was in Jerusalem.
But it wasn’t just any historic Jerusalem landmark, it was over the Temple on the Mount which is also known as the Dome on the Rock or any other of a number of names since it is one of a elite group of places venerated by Jews, Christians and Muslims a like.
To Jews and Christians, it is the place where the world was expanded into its current form and the place where Adam was formed into man. Later, it was where Abraham bound Issac and the site of the first two Jewish temples. For Muslims, it is the location for Mohammed’s journey to heaven. It is also part of the Armageddon myth as the location of the third temple to be built by the returned Messiah.
There is little wonder, then, that several religious figures have come out with a varied call of what the lights could mean.
American-Muslim cleric Palmer Raffoud of Laguna Lakes, Calif., said it proves that Allah is the one true god.
“After all, it appeared above the Dome on the Rock, not at a number of other solely Jewish sites. We’re No. 1, we’re No. 1!,” Raffoud said.
Baptist Pastor Reggie Hammond of Detroit, Mich., said it might signal that the messiah might soon be coming back.
“It is important when events like this occur that we think back to the laws that God passed down to us and how we live our lives. The end may be soon and there is still time to repent,” Hammond said. “We’re No. 1, we’re No. 1.”
Several local and national Christian-based cults have also decried that the antichrist is coming, or already among us. The same has also been said for who might be the coming messiah.
Stedman Graham, grand vicar of the Oprah cult, has come out to say that he believes that Oprah Winfrey is the messiah and when she steps down from her show in 2011, she will assume her messiah duties full time.
“Many people think some of the gifts she has given to be extravagant — cars, vacations, etc.,” Graham said. “But when she gives the world peace for a thousand years, they will really feel like they were blessed by the glory that is the Oprah.”
The Church of the Holy Redeemer in New York, N.Y. has identified exiled entertainer Keith Olbermann as the coming messiah, according to spokesperson Charlie Lloyd.
“Keith — all of his friends and over-obsessed fans call him Keith — stepped down from MSNBC when he got the call. God respects corporate rights and the non-compete clause will be honored by him,” Lloyd said.
Billy Redknickers from Enid Oklahoma, said no matter which of the three religions was targeted Jan. 28, the one thing that rings true to him is who it excludes.
“I will introduce at the next meeting of our brotherhood to stop hating on the Muslims and the Jews. This light has shown me that they are not the true enemy,” Redknickers said. “The true enemy are those who do not prescribe to any of those three. Buddha and Confucius never went to Jerusalem. Dad-gum Chinese are the true enemy after all.”