Search our Site
Custom Search
Privacy Policy | Terms of Service


Prime Cuts 2013

Bookmark and Share
Storytelling: Intellectual Hunger Is Not Satisfied By Non-Fiction Alone. And Sometimes, Sarcasm Is Sanctioned, Such As Here In 2013. Still Your Mind And Gaze Upon The Year’s Ink-Spattered Back-Pages


By Chris G. Braswell
Modern Times Magazine

Dec. 30, 2013 — Modern Times Magazine is interested in cultivating the garden whence it was hatched. That means civic awareness and community enfranchisement, and responsible, competent journalism, but it also means providing a venue for other modes of writing.

But journalism about serious issues is a very serious business, of course. And in every instance, we try to illuminate a new perspective for the reader, regardless of the gravity of the specific piece. Consequently, other modes of communication and writing can make a point even clearer.

To reach this even finer shades of grey, Modern Times Magazine employs fictional content that must always have a deeper meaning than just entertainment. Sometimes, it is long-length fiction and other times, it is pure satire. Either way, it is 100 percent original and thought provoking.

Even content that is totally made up has something to say on the pages of Modern Times Magazine. The art of fiction is a door to an infinite universe where anything can happen and everything is possible. Boo.

No. 7 “A Confidential Memo From Wayne LaPierre”

Image by Donkey Hotey and used under the terms of a Creative Commons license.
In February, Marsh McCall, former executive producer for Last Man Standing on ABC, and whose work has appeared on and in other prestigious publications, provided Modern Times Magazine with this leaked memo from the National Rifle Association’s chief executive to the organization’s board members.

“If someone throws out a ridiculous anti-gun argument, such as pointing out the lower murder rates in Japan and Great Britain, where gun control is much more rigid, don’t lose your temper. Try to steer the conversation back toward a related, but safer, arena. For example: “You know what the Japanese do well? Tiny trees.”

It’s cute. And it’s satire, get it? But know this: Right now, somewhere, somebody you know is dread-sovereign serious about this whole deal.

No. 6 “New Hacker Leak Reveals Puppy Terrorists”

Main image by Klearchos Kapoutsis and used under the terms of a Creative Commons license.
In July, the Lighter Side news bureau at Modern Times Magazine came forth with a report that was a complete bonanza of domestic surveillance keywords.

But look at that puppy! What a cutie pie! I could be wrong, but it looks like that cute puppy is carrying an AK-47.

Then there is the turban...

No. 5 “An American Episode”

Image by Walker.Carpenter and used under the terms of a Creative Commons license.
Writer Wayne Schutsky paints a picture with a blue sky, blinding sun, and red dirt. Schutsky’s excellent application of this palette allows the characters in the story to totally disassociate from their actions, leaving the door wide open, but not necessarily the lights on, for you.

No. 4 “Three Flash Fiction Pieces By Tayvis Dunnahoe: A Tantrum, Gone Awry, and That Sunday
Dunnahoe was a guy who one of our guys knew from one of their day jobs. He writes B-Movie reviews for the The Deuce Grindhouse Cinema Database, and cites writing influences for his fiction efforts such as Eric Hoffer and Charles Bukowski. In 2013, he married the prettiest raven-haired woman in town.

No. 3 “Duck Dynasty Patriarch Blasts Gay Community”
The week before Christmas, the Arizona Rednecks for Homosexual Equality whipped out an open letter in response to a reality T.V. show star’s comments, during a GQ Magazine interview, about religion and his morals apropos men having sex with men and women having sex with women.

By the way, the word “gay” pertains to love-inspired joy, and it is wonderful. It can happen to anyone, not just homosexuals. For various other definitions, ask a confused person, if you must.

No. 2 “Beyond The Hill - A Novel By Victor Fausto”

Images by Duncan and benoneill and used under the terms of a Creative Commons license.
From February through April, Fausto’s novel ran in serial format at Modern Times Magazine. The plot follows a man who, in the amber of his autumn, reflects about his path to redemption through his life’s many lessons — some of which were grievously harsh, and all of which inspired deep change and inner growth in the narrator.

The story can be defined as something else, too. It is the journal of someone earning their wings, there is simply no other way to say it. In this case, fiction just happens to be the medium for something from above.

No. 1 “Pizza Noir: Pie In The Sky

Images used under the terms of a Creative Commons license.
Denver Day’s third novella has come a long way from the secular police work of the main character at hand during the opening chapters of the first book. I suppose that’s what can happen when police mix business with pleasure.

Meanwhile, maintain a healthy respect for black-and-white cinema, and support your local roller derby circuit. NSFW. Film at 11.
Bookmark and Share
The Blizzard That Never Was

A Storm Predicted To Produce One Of The Worst Blizzards Of The Century Peters Out And Some Local News Media Outlets Just Can't Let It Go.

Dietary Restructure

A family man decides to get a consultation from a nutritionist. But when he realizes that losing weight will mean cutting out food items like cheddar fries, he obfuscates: all in good taste, of course.