“Just what do you have there, Wilbur?”
“Oh, nothing, just a new item for my collection.”
“A new item, eh? Looks more like an old rug with a large coffee stain. This can’t be an item for your collection.”
“Oh, but it is my good friend. You know you can’t just drag a dead person around anymore. Times have changed. One must be so secretive in this day and age.”
“Nonesense. Just the other day, I saw you dragging one around. Where was the secrecy then?”
“Sometimes out of necessity comes idiocy. Now will you give me a hand, or will I be forced to implicate you if we are spotted by the police?”
“Don’t get so upset. I’ll help, I’ll help.”
“Down here Mortimer, the shed, the shed. Hurry, Maude will be here soon and this package is getting heavy. Oh, my angina.”
“It’s stress, Wilbur. Everytime you go crazy, you get pains in your chest. Lets scoot.”
With that, Wilbur and Mortimer dropped the body in a rug and went on their way.
* * *
“Hey whaz up, dude? Looking good, looking good. And how is the fine lady with you tonight, eh eh?”
“Hangin’ with it, you know. What's the word tonight?”
“Just tryin to hook me up some little grabbins is all, aint no fishes bitin’ though, boy. You be using that fine thing before long.”
“Hear that, baby, you gonna be bait tonight. You just do what Bobby say and it’ll be cool before you know. You get what I’m sayin’?”
“You ain’t convinced me Daronda, now you know what to do?”
“Yea Bobby, I know, I know, baby, whatever you say, baby.”
“That's better, now go over there and put out the fresh fish sign. Go on.”
Daronda, employing her finest saunter, moves down the boulevard. Bobby and Marvin spy from down the way sizing up the scene while talking shit. Bobby was worried something would happen to Daronda: she might get taken away, he may never see her again. That meant another plan to get some shit. He wanted to get high. He needs to get high.
Time and cars went by, not even a bite. Bobby and Marvin bummed smokes, talked trash and called out to some fine ladies, yet Daronda remained at the corner growing edgy.
Then, bam, a danny kaye.
“Hey honey, what you looking for? Don’t matter, I got it,” said Daronda as her hands slipped in the window and down the pants. “You ain't too excited yet, but Mama will fix that.”
“I was only looking for a couple rocks, but if you’re for rent, I’m in the market. Get in.”
Without a gesture, Bobby, Marvin and Daronda celebrated the capture. Daronda got in the car and began the setup.
“I can git ya 2 rocks for $40. Pull up to those dudes over there and give them the money.”
“That’s kind of high-and who are they?”
“Don’t worry, baby, it real good, that’s why it’s a little highly priced. And down there is my brother and his homey. Now come on, get a movin’. You aint no cop is ya?”
“No, I ain’t. I’m movin. You’re gonna stay with me until I get the stuff ain’t ya?”
“Shoot, I aint goin nowhere with what else we got goin, sugar. Hey, Bobby, this dude want two.”
Bobby grabbed the green and disappeared into the depraved refuge also known as a residential community. His heart racing with anticipation, Bobby knocked on the door. He waited. He knocked again. He waited some more. Sweat began under his hat band; he was grabbed by some twitchin’, rattlin’ the change-which constituted his life savings-in his pocket. Finally, noises at the door.
“Hey Bobby, back so soon? No more freebies motherfucker, that ended years ago.”
“Shit, I got $40 for 8 rocks Earll, whoo, Bobby can work some motherfuckin’ magic. Now give the shit to me, my brother. Daronda’s holding some know nothin’ out there waitin fo’ his two. You mind if I use your pipe, Earll? Cause, you know, gettin’ a little cold in the bones, man, hey thanks Earll, man, cool, cool."
“You got money, I’m you’re friend, gramps. Make it quick with the pipe, I got ladies waiting.”
“You know man, (inhale), I got some friends (inhale) who get mass quantities of shit man, (exhale). (Inhale) We should be doin' some business (inhale).”
“Look, motherfucker, get the fuck out, I don’t need this shit from you.”
“Hey, hey, hey, I aint disrespectin' you man, I’m goin, I’m goin.”
Now fully aware of the high and life as he knew it before the last installment of the pipe, Bobby strutted-as cool as a crack addict-out of the refuge. Daronda and the son of Uncle Tom were gone.
“Bobby? Hey man, you git the shit from Earll?
“Yea, man, where Daronda?”
“She long gone man, said she’d be back later, come on man, lets go smoke that shit.”
Daronda would never be seen again.