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Modern Times Magazine's
Fiction/Satire Prime Cuts 2015

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Confederate Flags, God, Valentine's Day And The Third Coming Of Jesus Christ Are Among The Subject Matter Featured In This Year’s Most-Read Fiction Works


By Staff Report
Modern Times Magazine

Jan. 5, 2016 — With a firm tongue planted in one cheek and a hand firmly planted on the other, Modern Times delivers fiction sporadically throughout the year, depending on how much good, insightful pieces we are presented.

Whether it be satire or straight-up fiction, there are definitely some creative people out there with just little old Modern Times Magazine available as their outlet. Sure, we do get submitted some duds and have run them in the past — Pizza Noir comes to mind — but these days we are a bit more selective and sometimes commission pieces from writers for which we have found a place in our hearts.

The most read fiction articles on Modern Times Magazine in 2015 (Prime Cuts) include some real gems. Included in this collection is May God Be WIth You from João Cerqueira, a guy who has a Ph.D. in History of Art from the University of Porto and is the author of seven books. Up-and-comer Stephanie Sparer also made the list for her insight into peahen rescue.

But satire has been a popular source for web surfers since access went mainstream and it doesn’t seem to be changing. The top two most-read fiction articles this year are satirical and would likely make Jonathan Swift happy, or at least choke on his meal of Irish children.

Enjoy, and don’t forget about the tongue in cheek.

No. 5 "Why Did the Peahen Cross the Road?"
Stephanie Sparer is a name to remember. If she can manage to navigate her interactions with wildlife like a peahen — which she did admirably by the way — she may be a big-time culturalist someday. We’re talking CNN or OWN or as a body double for Zooey Deschanel. Regardless, spend a few minutes ready this and you’ll smile the whole time. — Posted July 30, 2015

No. 4 "May God Be With You"
When we received a query from João Cerqueira, a guy who has a Ph.D. in History of Art from the University of Porto and is the author of seven books, including Blame It On Too Much Freedom, The Tragedy of Fidel Castro, Devil’s Observations, and Maria Pia: Queen and Woman, we jumped at the chance. He provided us with this wonderful piece about another coming of Jesus Christ and what might happen if he meets a priest. Amen. — Posted March 13, 2015

No. 3 "Top 5 Phoenix Eateries In Which To Break A Heart"
Just in time for Valentine's Day, we brought the Phoenix metro a tongue-in-cheek look at breaking up on V-Day. To quote the article: ...”you've finally decided to end your romantic relationship, and you would like to drop the news in a public place. If so, you are probably a sociopath and want to make sure that this is easy for you, and that the other person bears all the emotional weight while feeling worthless. Maybe you want to feed your self-esteem with a pairing of their humiliating public breakdown with you sitting there looking calm and rational.” Umm, uncomfortable. — Posted Feb. 12, 2015

No. 2 "Four Festivals Fold In Favor Of Touring Mega-Spectacle"
Amid the fever of festival-season announcements, one of our writers concocted an angle wondering, “what if mergers hit the music festival circuit?” Out of that came a piece penned by the pseudonymous Lang Kornfeld (the last names of the two main organizers of Woodstock.) “A source from deep within the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival who has chosen to remain nameless has said that Coachella, Bonnaroo, Sasquatch, and Austin City Limits have all agreed to disband by the year 2017. The reason for the shift will be to form a new traveling mega-festival to be known as Bonchellaquatch Limits.” — Posted Jan. 17, 2015

No. 1 "What If Confederate Flag Lovers Could Be Honest?"
We do like our Satire here at Modern Times Magazine and for July 4th we delivered a doozy. Bizarro Wayne Schutsky, the satirical, questioning, fourth dimensional version of writer Wayne Schutsky, took on the Confederate flag controversy with a racist’s defense of his racism. “The Stars and Bars is key piece of white culture, and now there’s people trying to destroy it. This is another in a long line of aggressions against white people in this country that make it so hard for us to live here.” — Posted July 4, 2015
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MTM Exclusive: The War on Christmas

When a elementary student tackles his Christmas presentation to the class, he makes the mistake of consulting Uncle Mickey who tells him all about Ayatollah Obama.

Why Did the Peahen Cross the Road?

After Running Into A Wayward Peahen, A Writer Ponders Her Safety And The Intentions Of The Bird Before Finding Salvation From A Colorful Couple.