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10 Reasons To

Love And Hate Listicles

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Taking A Cue From Thousands Of Other Websites Throughout The Globe, We Have Accepted A Top Ten List From A Talented Writer, But Beware As It Is Not Your Typical Listicle

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By Jacy Wrage
Special for Modern Times Magazine

Sept. 18, 2015 — If you clicked on this link, chances are you have become conditioned to killing time with an increasingly annoying trend called “listicles.”  These ridiculous compilations range from such spaghetti-god awful topics as 'Top 20 Disney Characters Most Likely To Get Shitty Flash Tattoos' to '14 Forgotten Lunchables That Will Make You Feel Old As Shit' ( thanks BuzzFeed, ya buttholes.)

For as completely mindless as these lists can be, they do serve a purpose. They allow you to kill time in a way that makes you giggle or makes you think. Not intellectual thoughts, typically, but it gets you thinking none the less. Usually thoughts about how great mankind is at procrastinating which then leads you to Google "best ways to procrastinate" which then, in turn, leads you into a listicle death spiral.

So since I click-baited you into expecting a sweet, sweet list of horse shit to occupy you while you debate whether or not you should start that excel spread your boss asked ya for earlier... I give to you the 10 Best Reasons To Love/Hate Listicles.

10. LOVE: The way a nostalgic list about Home Improvement can remind you of a simpler time when JTT was the only man in your life and he was just a Tiger Beat magazine away.
Image by Craig Sjodin/ABC.

9. HATE: The fact that two decades later 85% of males in their 20's have the Zachery Ty Bryan (aka Brad Taylor, eldest Taylor child) hair cut.


8. LOVE: Lists that help you rediscover some really crazy details about a movie, show, or book that you just didn't catch the first time. That's worth the read.

7. HATE: How the fairly frilly side of my childhood has been destroyed by jackfaces trying to re-imagine Disney princesses. Some shit is sacred, you jerks. Not everyone looks better with hipster glasses, funny hair-do and body art. STOP IT.

Image retrieved from www.memegenerator.net.
6. DOUBLE HATE: Realizing half your Facebook feed has become nothing but number 7 from this list of listicles.
Image retrieved from www.pintrest.com.
5. LOVE: Stumbling across the occasionally informative read about the best breweries to visit in the city you'll be vacationing in next month.
Quinn Dombrowski and used under a Creative Commons license.

4. HATE: Missing the fine print in the breweries listicle where it mentioned all these breweries were trendy to a fault. Now you are choking back the “Flaming Nut Cracker", a finely crafted ale consisting of flaming hot Cheetos' dust and the soft crème centers of nutter butter cookie bars. Mmm. Tastes like deceit.

3. LOVE: The ways a quick list can tick off those final 15 minutes you are trying to waste before your class starts or lunch break ends or girlfriend comes back out of Sephora.
Image by Mickael Denet and used under a Creative Commons license.
2. HATE: When you exit Sephora quicker than expected and can read the title “7 Hottest GMILF's On The Internet" on your boyfriend's phone.
Image by Picture Perfect Lifestyle and used under a Creative Commons license.

1. LOVE: The very fact that many of you (including myself) hate this form of writing yet, here we are, at the end of another completed listicle.
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